Q7 for Bryan: More about Abuses

I thought your response to Q2 did 2 things: (1) it ignored your own argument in Q1, and (2) it blamed the Cessationist as somehow intransigent for asking a pretty basic question about an allegedly-necessary attribute of the church — which is, “how can I know if we are doing it right?”

In 1 Cor 14, Paul says, “the spirits of prophets are subject to prophets,” by which he means that somehow there is a right and necessary constraint of these manifestations to therefore keep good order and edify the church.  (He explains why in 1 Cor 14:6-15)  If Paul has commanded that there be spiritual gifts used in the church, he demanded they be used in a proper way.  That’s what I mean when I ask about spiritual abuses.
What am I not understanding when I see a disconnect between Paul's approach and yours -- which seems to say that anything goes?

No matter how I clarify, there will be cessationists who after reading this post will come away saying something like, "See..see...they refuse to be held to account, they're crying foul at the slightest objection and are demanding to be able to do whatever they want without us even raising an eyebrow." But if that's what you take away, you're missing the point. But as I've already stated in my introduction: 
"Who is it, really, that’s crying foul? This hard cessationist camp and expression are like the abusive bullying husband who pushes his wife’s buttons and pushes her buttons and pushes her buttons, waiting until she finally explodes and shows him some nice dark colors and teeth, so he can then punish her for it and demand she not have any buttons to push."   
Cessationists aren't intransigent for asking the basic question, "how can I know we are doing it right?"--if that's indeed what they are sincerely asking. But that's not what I've heard you or cessationists ask or say--as if they were earnestly seeking spiritual gifts and wondering if they are doing it according to Paul's instructions, which you are right, are instructions for those who ARE obeying or sincerely want to obey his other commands to pursue love and earnestly desire gifts. It's not intended for those who are acting like self-justifying disobedient naysayers with a knack for deflecting, to use against those who've actually got skin in the game and are taking the risks.   
From the beginning there has been these condescending demands that we provide better answers for cessationist questions concerning abuse, as if you guys really do assume God views you and your position on this as superior and has you here as the referees to blow the whistle on everyone else and tally up who's met your requirements and who hasn't, who's paid their dues with the answers you want and who hasn't. And as I've stated elsewhere, as an ex-Macarthurite I know what it’s like to know I’m going to be accused of some form of Phariseeism and to pre-defend myself by claiming to be just a martyr for the truth, so it has been no surprise to see that kind of talk among you guys play out as usual.
What I have heard you "ask" is, "We believe what you're practicing is demonic clairvoyance and/or cheap counterfeits and that it's probable you are not even a part of the body of Christ, but, for the sake of argument, I'll concede the gifts are for today--so...given that gracious concession, can you show me the real deal which only looks like [fill in the blank] and how you and I can both know that YOU are doing it right?"
The disconnect is not because I'm an anything goes guy (far from it), the disconnect is because I simply refuse to play that game...I won't play into this inflated fantasy of y'all's that you deserve better answers than what you've been getting simply because you are who you are as opposed to us question marks. You've attributed genuine acts of the Holy Spirit to Satan while kicking your heels. You don't get a pass on your own blasphemy because you're confident you're confronting blasphemy or because you've written fifty commentaries. 
If this means I'm accused of not considering abuses to be a big deal, then so be it. That's simply not true. But I can't help you much there as long as you've a higher tolerance for your own unbelief and mockery than my inability or unwillingness to account for what everyone who claims to be charismatic, does with the gifts. 
Are there abuses? Yep. Abuses/misuses in all sizes...extra small to 5x, tall to venti. Yet, those who sincerely begin to grow in their gifts discover the pitfalls and how to avoid the various misuses and abuses. And there is one book that comes to mind, devoted specifically to the gift of prophecy, if you're interested in a starting place for learning how healthy practice can be encouraged and maintained within a specific body.
But as it is, you guys are obviously not seeking to understand as someone who really wants to know how you can know you are doing it right, but as someone who is asking us to supply the very ammunition that you aim to shoot us with. You're coming at this more like a tax collector who doesn't pay his own taxes. That's why I'd agree that cessationists are being hypocritically intransigent.